Family.

welp haven't really been on here in awhile. I just haven't really had the time or the patients. There's just a lot of shit going on in my life that's just making me stop and think. First of, I must say that I will never take my boyfriend, my baby's father, the Love of my Life, for granite ever again. He has done everything and anything for me. I mean, yeah, maybe he doesn't show his feeling the same way everyother person does in the world, but he doesn't have to. I know he loves me. I just feel like there has been a lot of times where I took him for granite, and these past couple weeks have been real hard. And it has just shown me what my life would be like without him. It just wouldn't be the same. I don't even know what I would do. He completes me. He is my Rock that keeps from drifting off. And right now, at this point in my life, I just want to be surrounded by my family. I just don't want poeple to think I'm shuting people out. It almost came to a point where I didn't have my family anymore and it scared me to death. So for me to even get back to where I was before, I just need to be witht the ones I almost lost. Until I feel comfortable again. It's going to be a slow process but hopefully at the end, I still have my family.

WOW.

Haven't updated in awhile. I've been slackinn. Nothings really been going on. I mean Springs here but the good weather still hasn't come yet. Patiently waiting I guess.... Xavier's been good. Standing and jumping and everything. He can basically sit up on his own too. Ummm....Me. Ehh. Been battling with my weight for the past 3-4 months. Summer's right around the corner and I'm praying I look right in a bathing suit. I don't want to be the one everyone looks at and says she shouldn't have that on. Even though this summer is really going to be all about Xavier. His first summer. I mean of course he won't remember it but I always will. He'll probably eat sand everytime we go to the beach Lol. But I enjoy it. My relationship now-a-dayss...has been good. We've been getting along. ((Hopefully I don't jinx itt!!!) I lovee him. I don't care what anyone thinks, Heinsky is sexy to me. He does what he has to do to take care of his family and to me that is the sexiest thing any man can do. But anywaysss, I'm basically done. Going to Water townn tomorroe. Hopefully i find something nicee.

Fun Nitee.

Here are the pics from the *Double Date* Lol.

Me and Fatima boredd so we had our own photo shoot Lmao.

Club nitee.

Siggghhh....

Ehe. I've madd lazy latly. Haven't really been keeping up with my bloggingg. Of course, nothing really funn and excitingg latly besides the club....? I'm not sure if I posted anything about that? Remeber, I smoke, so I randomly forget small things. But ANYWHOO. It's been pretty blahh latly. I've just been home with Xavier, counting the days till the good weather is finally here. I'm supposed to be going next Tuesday to get a tatto done. I'm pretty excited even though I'm not even sure yet what I am going to do. For the past couple of days, I've actually been thinking about geting something done for the BD Lol. Not sure yet. i was going to suprise him with it if anything but I ended up telling him tonite. Lol. I wanted to knoe his oinion on what I should get. He's telling me to get his full name on me. But I was like HELL no. The most i would probably do is his initals. But I've really been wanting to get Xavier's name done. But I want to get his big. I want it to be real big on my arm. SO that's going to coast a pretty penny. And I don't have too much money to be wasting right now. So I'm not sure. But of course when I figure it out and I get it done, I'll post some picsss. But that's all for tonite. I'm about to call the Boo to see when his ass is getting in. Nite!!

Double Datee.

OK. So yesterday, Me, Tima and my boyfriend and his friend went on our Double date/Blind date Lol. It was pretty funn. I mean Tima and Doken's barely talked Lol. But we had funn. We went bowling at some place with a hole bunch of old people Lol. Since it was a Saturday night, everywhere else would have been packed. We only played one game. Kiki won Lol, I came in second, and Tima and Doken's tied Lol. But then we went back to Kiki's and of course, smoked a couple blunt and had some Coronas. Me and Fatima had this bigg Photo shoot in Kiki's room Lol. I would have put them up BUT Fatime forgot yesterday! Lol. But I'll have them up sonner then laterr.

Ok Ok just a few more pics of Chunkyy.

WELP. Haven't really been doing shit the past couple of days. Just been home or running around. We went the Dr.'s the other day so they can check up on Xavier to see if he was getting any better from the cold he. Got and of course, he is. I take care of my child Lol. This weekend might just be a little more exciting. My best friend TIMAA ended up takening a break from her Husband, so we're all trying to get her to hook up with one of my BD (lol) friends. Doken's. Hopefully it works. It would be perfect if that happend. I don't want to jinks it but friends dating friends never really work out Lol. But we'll TRY Lol. I'm going to take pics and post them of our fabulous nitee.

Xavier's first overnight stay in the hospital.

Yeaa so it is nowFeb 24. I haven't posted anything in a while. Well, Xavier came down with a really badd cold and he ended up in the hospital on Friday for Bronculotist. It's bronculits, but for a baby. He was just all congested in his nose and in his chest and he couldn't breathe =[ my poor baby. He's good now though. My little man's a trooper.

But me and hisss fatherr have been doing a lot better. He's actually trying for once. It's funny cause I was just telling my best friend today that I swear it's like when me and him are having problems, her and her husband are good, but when me and him are good, there having problems. But once something else that is a little more interesting happends in my life I'll have some good post.

February 16thh.

Okay. So it's been like 2-3 days since I've posted something new. Nothing really has been going on latly. Well, Valentine's Day was pretty desent. I went out with Heinsky of course. We were going to go to Cheesecake Factory but of course, it was packedd. So we just ended up getting some cheese cake and went to Taco Bell Lol. Then, we went back to the house and watch the dunking contest. First time for me Lol. Basketball really isn't my thingg. But then after that we went to the movies to watch Friday the 13th. Kiki, is the worst person to go to the movies with. He falls asleep all the time! But this time beat all the others. he knocked out seriously right when he sat down. So i watched the movie all by myself. It wasn't the greatest, but it was good. It reminded me of texas Chain Saw too much. Yesterday I went to Brunch with my mom and my Aunt and went to the mall with Kiki. That was a shock too, cause he hates going to the mall. Yeaaa my boyfriendss a weirdoo. he doesn't like to do shit besides sit around and smoke. && Today I went to the Braintree Mall to go have lunch with one of me and my mom's friends. I got Xavier the cccuutteessttt outfit. i'll take a pic of it later and post it so you guys can see it. And i got myself a sweater. But that's about it. I'll be back later to post some picks from todayy. =)

Hardest Job of my Life.

Being a mother is the most difficult job any woman could ever have. You may think, oooHh, it's not hard. PLease, yess it is. Forget about going out with your friends, actually, anywhere for that matter. Especially, if you live in somewhere like me, when you actually have those 30 degrees days and everything. I've basically been in the house all winter. This is the first time that I'm REALLY like counting the days down till spring. Because I have the baby all the time. You may think someone will always be there to watch him, but once he gets to that stage were he's crying ALL the time and your the only one who can carm him down. Forget about going out anywhere, unless he's with you. My mother was right there telling me she'd take him when she got home from work so I can have a brake. I'm not saying she doesn't do that, but when I have to ask her and then she sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes and grabs him, do I really want her takening him after that? No. It just sux when your baby father wants to be a father when he feels like it, and when he doesn't nothing matters. I'm not saying i don't love my son and I regret him being here or anything cause I don't. I love him to death. && I would NEVER regret my son. Or even having him at the age I did. But, I'm just going through a real rufff patch in my life and I can't wait till this patch is done and over.

I love you....

1-2-1-2-3-4Give me more loving than I've ever hadMake it all better when I'm feeling sadTell me I'm special even when I know I'm notMake it feel good when it hurts so badBarely get madI'm so glad I found youI love being around youYou make it easyIt's as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4There's only ONE thing (one)TWO do (two)THREE words (three)FOUR you... (four)(I love you) I love youThere's only ONE way (one)TWO say (two)Those THREE words (three)And that's what I'll do... (four)(I love you) I love youGive me more loving from the very startPiece me back together when I fall apartTell me things you never even tell your closest friendsMake it feel good when it hurts so badThe best that I've hadAnd I'm so glad I found youI love being around youYou make it easyIt's as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4There's only ONE thing (one)TWO do (two)THREE words (three)FOUR you... (four)(I love you) I love youThere's only ONE way (one)TWO say (two)Those THREE words (three)And that's what I'll do... (four)(I love you) I love you(I love you) I love youYou make it easyIt's as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4There's only ONE thingTWO doTHREE wordsFOUR you...(I love you) I love youThere's only ONE way TWO sayThose THREE wordsAnd that's what I'll do...(I love you) I love you(I love you) I love you1-2-3-4I love you(I love you) I love you

Well, Today was a real good day. It was in it's 50's again today in Boston. But it was a little nicer then Sunday. Not as much wind. So, I went out with my niece (who is also one of my Best Friends), and I went out with my friend Fatima today and her baby ( my Goddaughter) Aaliyah. We didnt really go anywhere special. Just to the mall. Got some food and I bought something small. But here are some pics from the dayy.


Little Porka Lol. Look at his other chin Lol. && His fatt handss.

I love this pic. This is a Kodak moment...

I Love you Xavierrr.

Aaliyah, Xavier and Timaaa. ( && My bigg butt in the back ground Lol)

Aaliyah got Bored. Lol.

The Love of my Life...

I met my baby's father the summer '05, when I was just introduced to one of the other Loves of ym life, Trees. Lol so one day I was walking down the street with my friend Sasha and we see piece of shit truck like 8 times in Union Square. So we're both sitting there like "What the hell, why would any one be trying to show off in that" Lol. So then she notice that she knew the person in the car. It was Kiki, I had no idea who he was at the time. So we all talk and everything and make plans to chyll like the next day. We all meet up, Me, Sasha, Kiki, and one of his friends. After that, every day that summer we were together everynite just smoking and telling jokes and everything. After about a week, I just came out and asked my friend, "Is there any reason why I shouldn't like this kid?" Lol cause I just always had bad luck with men. I'm telling you, he was sooo shy at first. I basically found out everything about him from his friend.
After a couple of months, I just feel completly in Lovee with him. && I always asked myself why? Because at the begining, he would do everything and anythingg for me. We went to to the movies like 3x in a row in one week just because there was 3 movies out that I wanted to see. Lol. He used to drive all the way from the other side of the city to drive me up the the street to work, he used to bring me food at 3 in the morning, just little things like that were so sweet. Now, yeaa right. All of that went away after a little while. I just miss the way I could tell that he loved me. I fell out of Love with him at one point and I never thought I'd get the feelings back for him that I had before. But once he gave me my son, I just got this inconditional Love for him. It just feels like that's slowly slipping away. I always said comunication is key and I try talking to him, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. I just hope we can work threw all this. Having a baby is hard and it does often put a strain on relationships. But, not us, I can't and I won't let us fall apart.

Omg!? Chris hit Rihanna???

Wow. Sunday Chris Brown turned him self in for assulting Rihanna. She called 911 and by the time they got there he had left. $50,000 bail. I can't believe it. I never thought Chris Brown would be one to hit a girl. After all those love songs and everything. I'm in shock. And they say that Rihanna had visable injuries. That's why neither of them showed up at the grammy's last night. I try not to post celebrity gossip too much Lol but my mouth dropped when I seen this.

For the Love of Ray J

Pppsshh.. Love? half the girls on this show either been on a website naked...or are stripers Lol. Please, we all know what Ray J is really on the show for.... What Chardonnay did on the first episodes is what he's looking for Lol. And Stiltis (the girl in this photo) looks so wierd with her hair the way it is in the show. But this isn't the only one who poses naked. Danger also has photos on some website naked. But she looks like she doesn't know what the fuck she is doing Lol. If I'm able to find them I'll post them. I got these pics from mediatakeout.com if you want to see the porno she did I'm not posting that Lol.

For the love of Ray

Finally some nice weather!

Okay, okay, it wasn't the nicest outside, but it was still nicer then it's been in like 3 months. It was about 50 degrees today in Boston. So I took the little man for a stroll in Downtown Boston and got him the cutest outfits from H&M ( yeaa, they sell baby clothes Lol). I kindaa got crried away though Lol. I spent $130 in there Lmaoo. Well, I got my self a little something too. I had to get myself a cute outfit for Vday of course. For dinner and after dinner ; ] Lol. Yepp, Xavier will be going to his Great Grandparent's house that nitee Lol. Well, tomorrow I'm supposed to be going for my permit. .Yeaa , I know it's sad, I'm 19 years old and I don't have my liscense yet. I just slacked. But, now that I have to take care of porka I gotta get it done. I'm hoping I pass first try, but i doubt. Lol wow, ok, I'm done telling my life storyy Lol. I'll be postingg something else a little laterr.

Seeyaaa;

I'm Back.......

.......Even though I wasn't on the site for a long time before i got kicked off. Lol.

But yeaa.

Hmm...what's new? I had my little baby boy Xavier Clifton A. He was born on November 14, 2008. he came 2 weeks earlyy. He was 5lbs 4oz. A premiee. But he was nice and healthy. Now, he's 3 months old and he's alittle porka Lol. Time flew! It feels like it was just yesterday when I walked into the house for the first time with him. He weights about 13 lbs now Lmaoo. My Baby cann eatt Lol. But other than the birth of my Son, nothing else exciting has gone on in my life. I mean, I was expecting to be engaged after the day of my birthday but that was a total disapointment. But other than that, I've been just around takening care a of my little Princee.

I'm going to try my hhaarrddeesstt to keep up with my blogging this time.